Coming Out (or not)

Posted Wednesday, April 27, 2011 by Kally83
So, May 2nd, 2011 is International Pagan Coming Out Day. I was actually a little surprised to find out this even existed but it sounds like a great idea. Unfortunately, I have my doubts that I will be a "coming out" participant this year, though I'm certainly planning on sending positive energy to those who are!

Don't get me wrong, I definitely contemplated it (heck, I won't make an actual decision until the day of) but, I know that when push comes to shove, I won't do it. Problem is, there are people around me that I know beyond a shadow of any doubt that will cut me out of their lives because of my Paganism. True, this doesn't have to stop me from telling one or two people but I never really felt like sitting down and having "the talk" with someone. Velma Nightshade from Witches BrewHaha worded it best when she said "I'm in the closet but the door is open". Annoucing my personal beliefs to the world is a bit much for me, but if someone asks, I'll normally tell them the truth (unless of course they are one of said people mentioned above).

It does bother me though that I can't be openly Pagan. I would love to "Like" all sorts of Pagan groups/magazines/websites on Facebook, but to do so would pass the word on to those who I'm not ready to tell. Granted, I have the Facebook account for my blog persona (in case anyone hadn't guessed, my real name isn't actually Kally and oddly enough my children aren't actually named Munchkin and Bean) but it's just not the same. I want to be one person, not two.

Are you out? What made you decide it was time and how did you go about it?


  1. Tea Witch

    I've been a practicing Pagan for almost 15 years and I've only been "out" for about ten of them. I stayed "in the closet" for the first five because I just didn't know what peoples reactions would be....most importantly my family. I am pleased to say that my family is very understanding and very open-minded. I got really lucky in their acceptance when I finally decided to tell them...which I did cause I just didn't want to hide it anymore. I hope one day that you are able to do the same and you find that your friends/family/etc. are as open-minded and accepting as mine were.

  1. Danni

    I've never been in the closet, but I was lucky to grow up in a place that was pretty accepting of everyone. If someone googles my name they'll find my blog and if they're on Facebook they'll see I'm pagan. That being said, I'm not very 'in your face' about it and I think most people (who aren't stalkers who google me) assume I'm just an eccentric hippie. If someone asks, however, I'll tell them I'm a pagan.

    I'm very fortunate however, in that religion has never been a key factor in who we choose to spend time with in my circle of friends and my immediate family so long as no one is trying to prostelytize. My in-laws may be a different story, as they're all *very* mormon, but as it hasn't come up yet I'm not sweating it. If it does come up my response will be, "Is your son happy? Does he love me? Does he still love you as well? Then there should be no issue between us. We got along fine before and I see no reason why we can't continue to do so."

    That being said, I can totally understand your hesitation as well as the hesitation of many more people that I know. We all have our personal reasons for being in and out of the broom closet and they are all equally valid. *hug*

  1. Aine

    No, I actually don't think it's a good idea, really. I like to give others very little to dislike about me, not because I give a crap really, but that I don't want to be the subject of negative energy, so I just keep it under wraps. Since I'm a solitary, and have my community here, I see no need to come out and tell the world.

  1. Chucky

    I feel for you. Whether you're Atheist, Baptist, Buddhist, Catholic, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, Wiccan or anything else for that matter; you should be judged by your actions and heart. Never your race, religious beliefs, sexual persuasion or politics. Your religious persuasion is as important to me as the name brand of shoes which you wear.

    But if not for the desire to focus on these differences might we not have World peace? Isn't it ironic that a lot of Western religions and practices have roots and branches that can be tied to Paganism?

    Hang in there and hang strong! What shoes are you wearing?

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