Kally's Cauldron

This post came about after reading this article.

There are few things that I’m more passionate about in this life than breastfeeding. I openly admit to being a lactivist. I respect that women choose formula but I don’t always agree with their reasons for doing so. I was a formula fed baby, and I certainly can’t deny that the introduction of formula saved many babies who might otherwise have died BUT it was never meant to be the norm. Thankfully that thought is shifting but we still have such a long way to go.

I recently joined a group on Facebook called Eats on Feets. It’s an online resource that connects nursing mothers who have breastmilk to spare with mothers who need it. Unlike milk banks, this milk would not be pasteurized and of course there would be a certain level of risk involved. In light of this, Health Canada has recently issued an advisory about milk sharing. So what is a mom who desperately wants breastmilk for her baby to do? Move to British Columbia where the ONE Canadian milk bank is located. One. For an entire country, there is ONE milk bank. The government pushes and pushes women to breastfeed their babies and then provides no support whatsoever. I have countless friends who, due to a complete lack of knowledge and support in the hospital, have ended up supplementing and often, completely switching to formula. For those who genuinely couldn’t produce milk, their ONLY option is formula because we live nowhere near BC.

If the government wanted to help, they would start making an effort to have milk banks AT LEAST in every province. More would be better. Instead they issue blanket statements , invoking guilt in mother’s who are only trying to provide the best they can for their babies. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.

The countdown is on! Just 5 more days till Samhain! I’m super excited since this is the first year I’m celebrating the Sabbat as a Pagan (I had started following the path last year but never got around to really observing the holiday). It’s been fantastic exploring other blogs and getting fabulous ideas. Now I just have to spend some time piecing together what our Samhain will look like this year.

Well, we never quite made it to the pumpkin patch. Boo was sick so Sunday was spent doing a whole lot of nothing....literally. No brekkie, no church, no pumpkin patch. We did, however, have a fantastic family nap Sunday afternoon! That was well worth missing everything else! We’ll look for somewhere local to buy our pumpkin in the next few days.

I’d like to take my hat off right now to anyone reading who practices a vegan lifestyle. I know that everyone does it for their own unique reasons but I’m not sure anything could motivate me enough to give up meat AND dairy. I’ve mentioned before that Bean is a really fussy baby so in an attempt to see if it’s something I’m eating that’s upsetting his stomach, I’m on the breastfeeding elimination diet. For the next week, dairy is out. It’s been two days and I’m losing my mind! Not because I’m a huge fan of dairy, but because there’s milk and/or milk ingredients in EVERYTHING! And can I tell you, my morning coffee just isn’t the same without milk or cream. If it wasn’t for only a week, I’d probably try and seek out some alternatives but for the short time period, it just doesn’t seem worth it right now.

Here stands another week before us. It's been beautiful here the past few days (finally, after more rain than I've seen in ages!). I'm going to get the boys out soon to start collecting things for our Samhain altar. Once the caffeine kicks in anyway. Bean woke up...a lot...last night so I have that zombie feeling this morning.
This past Saturday, Bean and I participated in our local Breastfeeding Challenge and had a blast. The challenge itself is short and sweet but beforehand they had lots of great speakers talking about topics such as babywearing and breastfeeding resources in our community. They had some great door prizes and I was super excited when I won one (I rarely win anything!). I'm now reading my very own copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding put together by La Leche League. If you or someone you know is nursing, I highly recommend it!!
I'm also very excited because I'm in the process of expanding my Pagan horizons. A dear friend of mine has invited me to join the study group of her Alexandrian Wiccan coven and I've started the process of joining a local women's spirituality group. I have limited contact at the moment with our local Pagan community because they meet bi-weekly on Sunday mornings for brunch (while we're at the UU congregation) and once a month on Wednesday nights (which as of yet hasn't worked, either because it's just not in the budget or I can't get a babysitter) I'm far too shy to attend any of the festivals until I have a few more aquaintances (kind of a catch 22, I know) so these will be wonderful things for me to expand my knowledge and hopefully with that, spirituality.

Maybe it's sleep deprivation, but in the past couple of weeks, I've hit more emotional lows than I know what to do with.  I had post-partum depression after Munchkin was born but I don't think this is it.  I really think I've just realized the "emotional" side of being a mom.

The one thing in particular that's hit me like a ton of bricks is how emotionally heart-wrenching breastfeeding can be.  Oh sure, it's a beautiful bonding experience and when it's going well, I feel like I'm on Cloud 9.  Not to say that it's suddenly started going badly but my Bean isn't the content nurser that Munchkin was.  Bean likes to bite and pull at my breast like it's jerky.  He constantly un-latches and then cries.  At first I figured there must be a problem....pain?  Thrush?  I do have a pretty hefty let-down but we're able to work through that.  No, my Bean is not only a fussy baby (bordering on colic, I'm pretty sure), he's a fussy nurser.  Apparently, however, I'm the only one concerned.  Granted, he has gained 3lbs in 6 weeks so obviously he's eating well but I'm a mom and worrying is what I do best!

Thankfully, unlike his older brother, he sleeps like a dream!

Then there's Munchkin...he seems to be taking the new baby pretty well.  He loves touching and kissing him.  He's really gentle and loves to help us do whatever needs to be done for the "baybe!"  However, the temper tantrums have gone through the roof.  He takes everything personally and his hearing can only be described as "selective".  My patience with him can get paper thin in a heartbeat and the Mommy guilt has set in.

The hardest part I think, is realizing that neither of them are as old as we want them to be.  Munchkin will be 2 next month but somehow we expect him to understand everything we say and know what's going on at all times....which, naturally, he doesn't!  And poor Bean.....telling a 6 week old to stop crying is not only futile, but really kind of stupid.  But here I am, trudging along, doing the best I can with what I've got for now.

But then Munchkin comes and gives me a hug and Bean smiles one of his gummy smiles....and you really do realize just why they're in your life and why you just deal with it all!