Phew! Can you say "busy day"? Bean was quite a handful today and I've never been so happy to see Boo come home! But here I am!Dealing with a cranky baby today got me thinking a lot about what kind of mother I am. Now that I've experienced it first hand, I'm realizing that the preconceived notions I had of "what kind of mother I'd be" are nothing like the "kind of mother I am". I'm NOT a patient person. As a child and teenager I had a temper that could rival Poseidon.
I always assumed that when I had children, all of these bad traits would be magically taken away and I'd be patient and loving 24/7. After Munchkin was born, the nasty truth hit....I was exactly the same person after birth as I was before!
That was two years ago and today, I still often find myself tensing up to the point of having to put Bean in his bed and walk away for a few moments. For the longest time I hated myself for it, but over the past few weeks, I realized that this is what makes me a good mom. I know my limits and how to deal with them. Of course I'm consumed with mommy guilt when I let him cry for a few minutes but I know that's so much better than trying to push myself to limits that I can't handle. I love my babies more than anything in this world and I may not be a perfect mom, but I'm THEIR perfect mom, despite my inadequacies.
Post a Comment